'I want it to be about me and my fiancé, not about a baby we didn’t make': Woman's sister wants to do her baby's gender reveal at her wedding, woman and husband say no, sister freaks out

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Jan 16, 2025 6:00 PM EST

They say a wedding should be the most magical day in a person's life. All of your loved ones come together for an event you have spent months creating and planning for to watch you vow your love to the one person who knows you better than you know yourself. Maybe you have a religious ceremony, or maybe your best friend officiates the wedding in a barn. Whatever the case, it's about what's best for you and your spouse-to-be

They also say the birth of your first child should be the most magical day in a person's life. A person you have spent months creating and planning for, someone who is quite literally an extension of yourself. Maybe you have a midwife, maybe you have ten doctors. Whatever the case, it's about what's best for you and your spouse and your newborn.

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  • These milestones usually happen on separate occasions. At least, I hope so. A wedding should be a day about no one but you and your beloved, although that's rarely the case. The first of a child is about the immediate family, although your extended family will absolutely give you their solicited (and unsolicited) advice. For OP, it seems like her wedding might suffer from a collision of two milestones when her sister asked if she could do her baby's gender reveal at OP's wedding. Maybe that will fix her "something blue" issue?

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    Cheezburger Image 10452368640
    via Luwadlin Bosman
  • 02
    **AITA for refusing to let my sister use my wedding as a gender reveal party? ** Hey, Reddit! So, here's the deal. I (29F) am getting married in about two months to my wonderful fiancé (31M). We've been planning this wedding for over a year, and honestly, it's been a bit of a circus, but we're finally getting everything together. Enter my sister (26F), who's pregnant with her first child. Super exciting for her and all, yay babies!
    via baby_luna_star
  • 03
    Now, my sister is one of those Pinterest-loving, gender-reveal- party enthusiasts. She's been planning this big reveal since she found out she was pregnant, and I swear her Pinterest boards are a terrifying mix of pink and blue confetti, cake explosions, and, at one point, a questionable plan involving colored smoke bombs. You get the idea.
    via baby_luna_star
  • 04
    Last week, we were having a family dinner when she casually drops the bomb (pun intended) that she'd love to do the gender reveal at my wedding reception. You know, when everyone's already gathered, spirits are high, and all that jazz. She even had a plan ready: halfway through the reception, she'd cut the cake, and boom, it's either pink or blue inside. She seemed genuinely excited, but I was a bit taken aback.
    via baby_luna_star
  • 05
    I told her I'd think about it, but honestly, I wasn't thrilled. I mean, it's my wedding day, right? I want it to be about me and my fiancé, not about a baby we didn't make. So, after mulling it over and talking with my fiancé (who was also not keen on the idea), I politely told her that I didn't want to include the gender reveal in our wedding festivities. I suggested she have her own party another day, and I'd be more than happy to help plan it or bake the cake or whatever she needed.
    via baby_luna_star
  • 06
    Well, my sister wasn't too happy about my decision. She said I was being selfish and that it would be a "special family moment." My parents are kind of on the fence, but my mom did say something about how it would be a cute memory. Meanwhile, my dad just keeps nodding and staying out of it, which is basically his strategy for everything.
    via baby_luna_star
  • 07
    Now I'm here, second-guessing myself. Was I being too selfish? I mean, weddings are about family too, right? But also, I kind of want this day to be about my fiancé and me, without a side of gender reveal. So, AITA for putting my foot down on this one? Would love to hear your thoughts!
    via baby_luna_star

  • Fellow Redditors came to OP's defense and were quick to give her sister a piece of their mind.

  • 08
    NTA. It's YOUR wedding, not her baby shower. She can have her moment on her own day. Weddings are about the couple, not pink or blue cakes. Stand your ground, sis!
    via baby_luna_star
  • 09
    No - so she's too cheap to throw her own (gag) gender reveal party.
    via baby_luna_star
  • 10
    No. And make sure your wedding venue and caterer know what she's planning. If they see any cakes that don't look like yours, they're to be thrown in the garbage immediately. Don't show. anyone what your cake looks like so she can't copy it. Let your sister and everyone know you're hiring security and she will be thrown out if she even attempts to do it. NTA.
    via baby_luna_star
  • 11
    Not the a-hle at all. Your wedding, your rules. She can have her own special day for the gender reveal- this one is about you and your fiancé, not her baby. Stand your ground, girl!
    via baby_luna_star
  • 12
    Tell everyone before the wedding that you are thrilled that she's having a girl, you have a 50% chance of being correct. When it gets back to her she will either angrily confirm it, or deny it, thus revealing the baby's gender before the wedding.
    via baby_luna_star
  • 13
    "So you want to use my very expensive event for free? AND be made a mockery of behind your back for years? Because only a moron hasn't cottoned on to how fl ed up it is to announce at a wedding. No. No thank you"
    via baby_luna_star

  • Marriage, marriage is what brings us together today. Well, this person’s wedding predicament brings you to this post, or whatever.

  • 14
    NTA your Sister sounds like a brat. I would tell her "It's already going to be a special family moment celebrating my Fiance and I. It seems strange to me you want to share the babies spotlight, and mine, rather than putting all those amazing pinterest ideas to good use at your own party."
    via baby_luna_star
  • 15
    Half of the people there at least are not her family and couldn't give two . Trust - they will actually have a negative opinion about it bc who the f about a stranger's baby?
    via baby_luna_star
  • 16
    With the "you are selfish" you respond NO, you are selfish for even asking and CHEAP. Your wedding was all about you and no other announcements. I want the same. Why do you want your gender reveal to be a side note of someone else's party, where they do the planning and spend the money? Plan your own entire party for this."
    via baby_luna_star
  • 17
    Also, prepare the venue, DJ, and some key bridesmaids in case she ends up trying something. I even would. prep a cousin or two on his side isn't afraid to be THAT guest who would loudly say "What the h I? Who does that at someone's wedding" - - but you take that conversation to the GRAVE.
    via baby_luna_star
  • 18
    This is of course if she manages to evade the bridesmaids, groomsmen, venue, and DJ. But DJ has a only these people can have the microphone and if someone approved hands it off to someone else? Turn it off. "
    via baby_luna_star
  • 19
    Has your groom said to your mother "This is crazy. I'm not throwing a wedding to announce the gender of someone else's child and it is inconsiderate to MY family to hog the spotlight away from the bride and groom. My parents would NEVER let my siblings do this"? It might shame her into siding with you.
    via baby_luna_star
  • 20
    Not the a h le at all. Let me get this straight: other than stating the obvious reason (that it is your and your fiancé's party, so you, AND ONLY YOU, should get to decide how it goes), your sister, as that girl who wants whole-a "colored smoke bombs", would be okay to share the day she makes this much-waited announcement with your wedding??? It seems like she's just taking advantage of your spending to do her gender reveal.
    via baby_luna_star

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family drama aita AITAH reddit story relationships wedding Reddit gender reveal
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